Today I finally brought myself to reply to my cousin's email.. .:
Sorry for not replyiing your mail in a while.
actually, i am thinking of moving up back north, and possibly with
tom becuase i don't have any interview scheduled here.
When I first received this e-mail, i read it over and over again...
it made me really confused. it sort of caught me by surprise and
turned me upside down. .. . caused me more self-loathing.
Do I really deserve to be [born] into this world, to [live] as a human being,
and to finally [die]? There are so many things that I [regret] and
caused me to be this shriveling miserable pathetic scum bag I am
today existing on this planet Earth. I know I am a no good blood-sucking
parasite off my parents and family for so many years now. Sucking
all their lives away. These days I can't even bring myself to look in a
mirror and look at the ugly looking creature staring back at me.
I feel that I have become an example of what is wrong. What you should
avoid to become.
I know that people have really low hopes for me to find a job. I
also feel that hopelessness too. As you can probably tell, I lost my
self confidence, my self-esteem. or I didn't really have much of the
two in the first place. I now don't have much motivation.
I don't know what I want to do anymore. I don't know where to go from
here. What to do with biology. I lost my path. I do like biology.. but
what to do specifically? That is a reason why I didn't think about getting
a masters right after graduating. I don't have a clear [goal] of what to
study. I wanted to get a biology related job to get a better focus. TO
get an idea how [it] is;
I don't know anymore. Maybe I am just so hopeless I should just
[give up] on biology altogether. Maybe I wasn't cut out for biology since the
beginning. Maybe I am just too dim-witted. I was thinking to get a
biology related job so I can apply my knowledge from school. But I
am already [forgetting] all the lab procedures and basic principles.
Maybe I should read my textbooks to keep up my biology knowledge. But
it seems that getting the [first] job is so difficult. Its like digging
a hole in the drought cracked soil.
The first time you need to [break] the hard surface with the shovel. After that
it is more easy. But maybe I am doing somehting wrong..
This is what I was thinking. I wasn't trying to "copy Tom".
it seems like things are getting a bit [desparate], but my mind is [muddled]
and [lost].
. . . and how pathetic I am.. writing this email while drinking my rolling
salty tears. Why do they come out now... . ? I haven't let myself [cry]
over these matters until now ..
these days i sort of feel like shriveling into a dark little corner and die.
my life has [no meaning]. what am I [living for]? what [purpose]?
i feel a bit glad that even I have not [lost everything]. Even though I
shouldn't keep my mind off thinking of these matters, listening to music,
working on my homepage, and drawing are the few things that have sort of
kept me moving, to go on.. to take my mind off these worldly ties and
problems. maybe I am cracking up. I am losing my [mind].
I felt so much of wanting to cut off all contacts from this world. I haven't
written e-mail to [friends]. I feel [embarrassed] to face any acquantance
of mine. Sometimes I just want to be left [alone]. Let myself rot in some
hole and not bother anyone anymore. So many people are concerned
about me and I am just making them worry. Have I let down everyone's
[hope] and [glory]..? Sometimes I feel like just
disappearing from the face of the planet. It would save lots of trouble.
I know that I can only help myself in this situation. I can only save
myself. I truly despise what I have become.
sorry for sounding so depressing... but my mind has sort of recovered
enough to finally reply.. This is sort of a summary of my disoriented mind
over the past months. geez, I am so [weak]. in mind, spirit, and now
body. I try to do some exercises lately because some of the jobs I am
applying for require good physical condition and many of my pants are
getting tight.
Am I falling deeper and deeper into the pitch black fathomless pit?
Am I dying?
Can someone [help] me?
Can someone show me the [way]?
Will this all [END]?
And, yes , "when will the day come" for all this to stop? To end?
when will the day come for me to "grow up", to be part of the working
society? I'm sorry, but right now, there is little force that is barely keeping
me [alive]. to live my [life].
anyway.. . good night everyone,
I feel a bit better after materializing all these dark thoughts into words.
As you can see, I have been thinking a lot. Its a huge dark mass building
up after a while now and perhaps [eating me alive]
Betty Fong
==============
MY COUSIN WROTE:
when are you planning to come back sac? or move back sac I should use
that word.
why don't you think about working on something else and at the same
time looking for a job that's related to your field? I don't think it
matters if you work something other than your major, many ppl's job and
their majors are totally different things. just get yourself a job, doesn't
matter what that is, will this be more realistic? you really need some social
lesson and getting yourself in the workplace is the only way. doesn't matter what
job you are doing, you still need those social skills. or thinking about
getting a master if you really want to do bio?
sometimes I just think you give yourself a hard time. why do you copy
Tom? I am not saying having a goal is a bad thing. but you don't need to force
yourself in your major rite?
you just need to "lam tong"(think through it) before you can move on.
what will that day comes?
==================
anyway, I'm recently working on my entry for www.akadot's haloween
art contest. Its hard using photoshop to colour and draw the background..
I started working on the colouring about a week ago, but then I got side
tracked.. such as the reading the email above. I got sort of lethargic
and blue. BUT, this weekend, I forced myself to work on it. Don't know
what is the [drive of motivation].. . but in the end, the picture began to
drive me to finish it! kind of strange, huh? The deadline is tomorrow..
27.october.2004 -sui-:
roll of thunder, hear my cry
Yesterday, it started raining on and off throughout the day.
Today seems to have cleared up a bit.. but it is one of my most favourite
sort of weather: large fluffy white and grey culomus(?) clouds, with a
wonderful blue sky peaking from behind.. despite it being quite bright and
cheerful, the sky is also crying with rain.
It doesn't seem to rain too often here because Los Angeles is sort
of a mediterranean and desert type of ecosystem. So, farmers, you can
now rejoice and be thankful for the short respite.. Funny thing is that
it is nearly the end of October, yet the weather hasn't exactly turned
very cold. I still haven't taken out my winter sweaters or even sweatshirt
from the suitcase. Wearing a t-shirt and a light jacket is sufficient
enough.
BTW, I am sort of afraid to pick up telephone calls. As I said
before, the number is new.. but unfortunately a reused one not long ago.
So we have been getting all sorts of weird or strange telephone calls
often and at some ODD times. Lets see, yesterday there was a few calls
for the Adult Video store.. or i've also heard something something erotica.
@_@ (sweat drops rolling down). All calls are MALES. One, which my
roommate picked up once was female. And these calls are usually at night..
even as late as 11PM, or 1 AM.. sometimes you get their calls in the
morning .. and even less, in the afternoon. Oh man, i remember I was
so sleepy but picked up the phone at around 2AM.. that guy had a strange
accent and he didn't know who he was looking for. He said something about
getting the phonenumber from a party.. I kept saying that he got the
wrong phone number (I was so sleeppy!).. but he kept on blabbing. He
even asked if I was a Chinese girl! I wonder how he knew... my accent?
well, being sleepy and stupid, he asked me my name, my age.. and I
gave them to him.. @_@ He then asked to go out with him tomorrow.. .
(sigh...) all I want to do is hang up and go to sleep!! How dare he!!
Yesterday, I got this call from a Mexican guy. He was speaking
Spanish and thingss.. finally he said he doesn't speak English using
English.. I said I don't speak Spanish.. . oh what a draw..!! So, we
ended up saying our goodbyes and hung up.. Hope that wasn't another
adult video call..!! Other than that, my Indonesian roommate's
brother seemed to have some trouble in paying his credit card bill..
SO, they have been calling morning, day, and night every single
DAY!! >_< Its like an alarm.. everyday except Sunday, around 8:30AM,
the telephone rings.. Sometimes I pick up the phone and talk with
the same person, Nancy, who gives me her phone number and asks me
who I am.. . so crazy persistent people.. THe thing is that my
roommate no longer uses that card.. this wasn't the first time
for this to happen either. how noisy.. . soo~~ I rarely get any
telephone calls. MOst are telemarketers.. adult video clients,
and random events. I was thinking that perhaps it may be just better
to just let the answering machine to work. Save me and them the
trouble.
I haven't really written many of my dreams lately. Well to tell
you the truth.. I don't know.. they are so scrambled up.. and these
past days I keep on waking up in the early morning to go to the
bathroom. But I somehow remember one dream from yesterday. It takes
place in a subway or train station ticket booth.. sort of like the
KCR or MTR ticket booth.. I bought this ticket for $2.95.. but I was
arguing with the ticket people that I have been taking the train for
so many times now and it costs $2.25!! Well, it turns out that the
train I took takes a different and longer route than the usual train
despite arriving at the same station.. So in the end, I lost..
That was a sort of strange out of the blue dream!
229.october.2004 -moku-:
eclipse.. ?
Apparently, I heard that there was an eclipse yesterday.. I
missed it...? or not? I did saw a very strange sight of the moon
being shadowed by something.. then, I just thought it was the
clouds.. but thinking about it, it can't really be the clouds because
the shadow was also of circle shape. So maybe I did see it!
Reading my ugly email on tuesday night, I still feel so
terrible. These days I sleep a lot. around 9 hours. I can't seem
to feel energetic or wide awake. I wake up often such as to go to
bathroom (2 times).. or hearing other roommates get up and closing
the door when they leave for school. I wake up because of all these
lawn mower (and even right now there is some sort of cleaning up
loud noise) or garbage truck. I don't know why i am so sleepy.
Such as today. I woke up at least 5 times since around 7AM. I just
don't want to get up. I want to sleep forever and forever.. .
I tried sleeping earlier, but when I do that, I usually twist around
for a good hour or so before I finally lose consciousness.
I just think about so many things before going to bed. I say to
myself, "calm down. breathe. relax your muscles. go to sleep.."
I relax, but then get tense soon after. I feel so terrible that
everyone else is getting up so early while I get up so late.
I still am not sure what sort of feelings I had that caused my
tears to flow a few days ago. (I'm such a confused soul! :D )
I guess you know, I have been bottling EVERYTHING inside for months
now. Its a mix of so many things: anger, disappointment, hatred,
confusion, loss, embarrassment, heart ache.. It seems like
everyone lost [hope] of me. My cousin suggests I get ANY job,
anything.. just to get a taste of the working world. That maybe
is probably a good idea I guess. I already have nothing. except
my broken [dreams]. my disillusionments. The stubborn part of me
is screaming, "Don't do that! Show them that what you can do!
Prove it to [them] that you aren't so weak!"
From outside, even my roommates sort of think that I don't
really show too much concern about my current situation. And
hearing that sort of hurts me.
OK!! (slaps cheeks) I must continue my mission. I must presevere!!
(after a week of 'downs', I hope to maintain this relentless
attitude)
31.october.2004 -suntag-:
requiem
So, its sunday halloween this year. Well, I haven't really
went trick or treating since high school.. so its the same old
same old. Since its on a Sunday this year, I can't do my usual
"costume watching" at school. Instead, I found out that 2 DVDs
were supposed to be due YESTERDAY! :( :( So, it means a buck
fine each.. I then dressed up wearing all black: black long sleeve
shirt, long black wrap up skirt, black knit shawl, thick tights
(it gets cold!), along with my lovely spikey jewelery such as the
choker and bracelet. I had to walk around 15 minutes to the bus
stop.. and it felt sort of weird because no one seemed dressed up..
and I could feel people staring at me~! Well, its a Mexican
neighbourhood.. :D It took me a while to get to the Santa Monica
Library because I had to change buses. I wasn't planning on
borrowing moree books because I didn't wear my backpack and had
my small bags.. but there were a couple of books that I couldn't
resist borrowing.. One is the sequel to the graphic novel version
of the Illiad: "Age of Bronze"!! I was waiting for that book for
a year or so! :D I also borrowed some shoujo comics "Call Me
Princess" and "Aquarium".. After that, I walked around the promenade
and the nearby shopping centre. Well, it was sort of embarrassing
because the stupid library books seem to set off every security
system for the stores I enter.. @_@|| I went to Hot Topic and
looked at the goods there.. they have extra 50% off the clearance
items.. . After walking around back and forth, there wasn't much
to do and there wasn't too many interesting costumes. Well, in
the shopping centre, there was this Japanese(?) guy that was dressed
as a woman! With a button shirt tied at the mid abdomen (sweat drop
rolling down), mini skirt, tights, and pumps! @_@ that guy was
very skinny and if you didn't really look too carefully, you might
really mistake him as a female!
After that, I took the bus back to Westwood, went to the
supermarket Ralphs, bought some groceries.. then waited for the
bus. Apparently, I just missed the bus, so I had to wait an hour!
:( :( So boring and chilly wait outside... .
2.novembre.2004 -sui-:
another month passes by
Yup. I didn't notice that it was already November. You see,
a couple of days ago, I went to the 99 cents store and bought some
Sara Lee San Francisco sour dough style bread. I looked at the tag
and it read "Nov 2".. not really giving it much thought and my brain
still set in October, I bought it anyway. While coming home, I
realised that NOvember 2nd is the next day! =_=|| sort of stupid of
me!
BTW, the Witch Hunter Robin drawing that I put so much effort
in didn't win the art contest. I just had a sliver of hope in that
contest, but I didn't get it in the end. I'm sure that the age
counted.. I mean, me being twenty-four years old.. . already, I feel
a bit like an ancient relic and there are so many better artists
than me who are so many years younger! :D
I tell myself,"It doesn't matter, at least you have completed an
art piece." but still..
Other than that, I recently upload a load of old drawings that
are on my homepage to my deviant@rt account. Well, not too many
people comment and things on my drawings.. it isn't too discouraging
especially .. well, I mean these same drawings have been up on my
homepage for years already, so if no one comment them, it is the
same as it always been! That is my logic. =D But then, getting
comments is also sort of discouraging too. Why? Well, having
poked around deviant@rt for a few months now, I find that there are
so many KIDS. By that, I mean around 15 years old. While its sort
of makes you feel good when someone says its "pretty" or "cute" etc,
thinking about it, its sort of [useless]. It would be better if it
was an actual critique instead of "Oh, I like this".. . and another
thing that irks me is most of these kids are sort of fanatical
fanboys. Final Fantasy is a very common favourite among all the pages
I've looked at. I also really dislike the term "bishie",
short for the Japanese term "bishonen", or "beautiful young boy".
So many boy crazed girls.. my gosh!! Its almost [frightening].
If someone calls my drawing of .. lets say Schezo-kun.. a "bishie",
I would allow Schezo to do a mass slaughter of fan girls doing his
"areiadou special"!!! I don't know.. females can be quite scary
fanatics! @_@|| All these cutesy animesque styles and drawings of
"bishonen" makes me want to turn opposite and draw
non cute characters, more mature or adult characters, and perhaps
very SHONEN style such as "hokuto no ken". Well, guess this is
what has been backing up the manga publishing boom these past
years.. but really..? TEN BUCKS for a volume is very crazy outraged
price IMHO.
6.novembre.2004 -terre-:
une mille de pourquoi..
On Thursday, I went to the anime club for the first time this
school semester. They gave out VIZ manga sampler vol. 1 and 3.
They showed : Yakitate Japan (a quite crazy bread making show....
taiyou no te?? @_@||), School Rumble (sort of like azumanga daioh
type of anime), the Count of Monte Cristo based anime (forgot its
name!).. that one did weird things to my eyeballs. Very computer
cg based. Visuals are interesting, as the shading seem to be all
coloured with unusual patterns.. such as the clothing and even
hair! I don't see the relationship between the book and the anime
so far though.. there's a bit of french in the anime.. and i could
only understand bits and pieces, Beck (lots of English in this
anime about a boy getting interested in the world of rock.. and
perhaps he will take part in the building of a great band),
Bleach (the shonen jump manga series turned anime.. I liked the
comic and the anime so far follows it well). The crowd of the
club is quite decent. I also had a big headache today. head
hurts since the moment I woke up and still hurt as I tried to
sleep. Sleep, as usual, did not come even after twisting and
turning for a very long time.. .
Friday (5th), I went to school. Along the way, I stopped by
"Sawtelle books and music" store and bought the october edition
of KERA magazine for $3! :) Well, its about half off the original
price because it is old.. :D They sell lots of these old magazines
including manga serial phonebooks too.. At school, I looked for
jobs again.. then I scanned a bunch of pictures. Finally, I am
done scanning the Hong Kong albums that I have here! (which means
that I still have more at home..) I also finally started scanning
my China photos! Yay!! >_< However, by 10:50PM, I merely finished
scanning until the Szechuan photos <--means maybe 1/3 of the
stack .. But in total, I scanned probably around 100 photos.. quite
crazy, ne? My brain is now sort of bogged down by the thought of
writing all the captions of all those photos.. and also thinking
of how many more photos I need to scan too.. =_=||
I also uploaded some photos to my deviant@rt account. And, I got
around 40 something messages after uploading all those old arts from
last week!! @_@ eeks! I find it sort of troublesome to respond to
the comments and their making the drawing to be a "favourite".
Because its sort of stupid and useless to write "thank you", but
then I feel obligated to write back as a courtesy!! *_* So in the
end, I managed to respond to almost all of them. Sometimes I just
don't have anything to say either. Since I don't just want to
just thank them, I go to their art page and look at their gallery.
Some of them are .. chotto.. ne.. :) so, I don't know how to
comment on their art.. and blah blah.. so many courtesy and
formality things.. BTW, you may noticed that I haven't been
posting my new arts here on this homepage.. the reason is lack
of space, but since.. (*cough* *cough*) um.. Schezo was nice
enough to sign up for another account at f0rtunecities and let
me use the space, I sort of put all the photos to his account!
+_+ danke, danke, mein freund!! I've been busy working on
the hong kong section lately.. and so I didn't update the art
section for a while.. I have a one track mind, don't I? I just
want to finish it all at once and then present it to you.. but
that will take a while.. so here is what i have right now:
[Hong kong]
On another depressing b flat note, why is it so hard for
ME to find a bio job? ;_; My grandmother called again today.
Its like that every week. first thing she says is "have you
found a job yet?" then she says things like "why don't you move
back here? How much is the rent there? How many people are living
with you?" and etc etc. etc . then she really made me so _angry_
when she commented that pops said that if i can't find a job,
why don't i get married.. . I wanted to just hang up just then.
Thinking about it still makes me very angry.. joke or not.
And on the topic of being angry.. well, i find that during
the end of the week and the weekends, we start to get some calls
for that "Zone Erotica" or something similar of that sort. And
I answered 2 calls from a female! @_@ A sort of funny conversation
is as follows:
ME: "hello?"
MAN: ". . hello? Is this a [store]?"
ME: "No, you got a wrong phone number" (inside giggling because I
know what sort of "store" he is trying to reach)
MAN: "Is this xxx-xxxx?"
ME: "yes."
MAN: "sorry, it is listed as a [store] in the phone book."
So most of the time its like that. But, a few days ago, i got this
strange phone call. I pick up the phone and say "hello", and the
lady says abruptly, "Are you hiring?". I almost tripped and fell
down upon hearing this! ^^ I said it is a wrong number.. and she
said that she said its advertised as the company called "A Touch
of Romance".. (sweat drop rolling down) OK... . @_@|| I don't
even want to KNOW what sort of job she is applying for!!
11.November.2004 -moku-:
kyou wa veterans dayy jya!
OK, yesterday and today, we have been getting so many telephone
calls. Today, there was around 3 or 4 calls from some guys asking
for that adult video store--!! mukatsukuuu!! >_<
Well, I didn't have too good of a wake up call today. Outside, some
guy (later i found out that a Mexican guy across the street was
cleaning up his car or something) was playing that trumpet Mexican
music!! @_@ I couldn't help but get up!! After that, I drank lots
of tea and then my Indonesian roommate made some Arabic coffee. It
has this very unique smell because they also put some roasted
cardommon pods in it! :D
I also cleaned up some of my ugly mess in the room. I have this
thick ~1 inch thick pile of scratch paper with sketches.. that is
from a period of 2 months! Recently, I have been trying to draw
some FSS(Five Star Stories) fan art. You know, with it being
translated and published out here in US, I thought it would be a
big HIT! HOWEVER, FSS is basically invisible in US! Can't you
believe it? A comic with beautiful art and designs, elegant costumes,
dazzling mecha designs, intricate background and story.. . but
still no catch?! I've read book 12(?) some months ago, but I was
somewhat confused on what is happening in that volume.. =_=|| Seems
like Douglas Kaine died... along with Princess Megumara(sp?)..
So what will happen to Fatima Auxo? A funny thing is that I found a
homepage with art book reviews. There were lots of FSS artbook
reviews.. and the author describes that Nagano's current art draws
the characters like insects or something of that sort! :) Well,
its true that his style changed quite a bit. The characters are
getting so thin and tall..^^ Before, he had more sketchy art.. it
looked more natural.. . But I can't really tell if that is a way
of drawing fatimas more inhumanly. I have to say that I prefer his
old style better.. I am also not so fond of his "plastics style"
clothings.. ^_^;
OTOH, Yesterday I baked the Betty Crocker Extra rich vanilla
cake.. It turned out OK.. Taste very good with tea!
Oh yeah, I had these extremely fragmented dreams these days.
I remember this part where I finally decided to eat the pomogranate
that is in the kitchen. I peel it open, and to my surprise, under
the skin is yellow, just like a pineapple!! Turns out, it has a
thick layer of pineapple and under it is the usual fruit! SO
strange!! It would be cool if there was really such a double
layered fruit!!
15.november.2004:
heute est montag; canned food review#3
PRODUCT: Family Choice condensed Italian style Tomato
Lentil Soup. net weight=24oz, 662g.
NOTES: product of Canada.
LOCATION BOUGHT: 99 cents store.
COST: 99 cents.
OK, the reason why I bought this canned soup was that it was quite
cheap and I was curious on how lentils taste like. However, the moment
I opened the can and smelled inside.. uh, well, I was quite disappointed.
The smell wasn't very appetitizing to me. I followed the simple directions
of simmering it and slowly adding 1 can of water. Wow, so much soup!!
Well, too bad it didn't smell so good. I had a sliver of hope that it
is one of those foods that tastes better than it smells (well, one food
that comes to mind is "stinky tofu".. can't think of any other!!) It is
also very watery, not at all like the thick soup full of lentils on the
can's photograph! So, I finally put the first spoonful into my mouth..
and.. . . . . it tastes exactly how it smells!! sort of yucky.. It is
a bit sour, but has a bit of metallic twinge to it.. I can't really
describe it.. but to give a final verdict: It doesn't taste good. and I
wonder what I am going to do with the huge pot full of that nasty soup.
can I modify it to something better? If this is how all lentil soups
taste like, I have this one experience in mind to be very afraid!!!
Oh yeah, last week, I rode my bike to Anime Gamers and walked around.
The goods there are so over priced! However, if you want to buy some of
the translated mangas they are 15% off.. . But you know.. they cost around
$10 per volume. Keeping in mind the 100 yen (~$1US) used manga in Japan,
it is so absurdly costly.. I was about to leave when I saw the hanging
calenders for sale!! THey were 90% off!! @_@! A good steal at $2.50!!
THe regular price are in the $36US range!! CRrazy! Original price is
2000yen!! (about 200% increase price!! >_<) I snapped up a very
beautiful CLAMP XXXholic/tsubasa resevoir calender for $2.60 and on a
whim bought Tokyo mew mew calender for $2.50.. i think my sister
probably likes those magical girls thingees.. lugging those two big
boxes around the Westside pavilion shopping centre, I read some comics
in Barnes and NObles bookstore. You know, my ABC roommate had some
*ahem* weird experiences in this mall it seems. Well, I was "tachiyomi"
(standing and reading) in the comic section, where there is a large
window. Suddenly I hear a knock and there was this man (probably 30s)
outside at the window. I looked at him and he did a "V" sign at me
and turned away!! (sweat drop rolling down) OOKAY~! after that little
strange incident, I sort of lost my concentration to read and immediately
set out back home.. in a way, it kind of freaked me out. I was
looking at him, thinking if I know him from some place.. but nope.. .
or is he some weirdo? AAAghh! creepy guys.. . It was sort of a pain
to ride back home holding the boxed calenders though. Its too big to
put on the handle bars so I have to use one arm to hold them.. .
17.novembre.2004:
illuminate
Right now I'm listening to the German gothic rock band named
Illuminate. Well, I downloaded their song "horizont" on their
10x10schwartz album. Oh my!!! I never thought it would .. song so
different from their other few songs i have on this computer..
...its so.. happy and uplifting?! with even saxophone solos!!!!!!
Never thought gothic rock and jazzy sax would come together..!
and then the song starts out with "fier dwei zwei eins" , which is
some German that I actually remember from middle school!! (despite
it meaning "4, 3, 2, 1" ..sweat drop rolling down).
Yesterday, I applied for a couple more jobs. INcluding faxing
my resume to the biotech company in Hayward (bay area). It costs
$1.50 because it is not local. Local fax costs $0.75.
I went to school because i needed to fax.. but it seems like
the computer lab is quite full in the late afternoon. Since the
computers were all full, I just went to the book stacks section
and looked at a few books.. uh.. something about curses, talismans
and spells thingiess.. *cough cough* and then i was bored so I
started to draw a few comic strips relating to my LA apartment
life. haha.. i bet other people wouldn't really find it too
funny. hehe. then at around 6:30PM, I went back to the computer
lab and logged onto a computer. TUrns out that the stupid A:\
for floppy disks (uh, well, its a habit to say "floppy", OK! I
mean the hard 3.5" ones) is broken and can't read any disks...
So, i had to save some job related files to my account,
then I went to another computer, transfer the files onto my
disk.. . I left at around 10PM, arriving back to the apartment
at 11:30PM. You know that I don't have the apartment key, right?
so I had to call from the front door to our apartment.. however,
both my roommates' phones were BUSY!! what to do? I though it
is late, i didn't have much to do other than taking a walk.
I walked to Sav on drugs.. and it was CLOSED. then I walked to
VONS (safeway) and just walked around in the supermarket. read
a few magazines.. then walked back. It was 12:30AM when I finally
was able to enter (and probably waking up my roommate :( )
and had a very late dinner, which broke my recent proposed "don't
eat after 10PM rule"! You see, the circumference of my belly is
increasing due to lack of movement or exercise. I even do around
50 situps every morning for some weeks now.
18.novembre.2004:
the dude alexander za great!
Well. Last night, I went and watched the movie "Alexander" at school.
My roommate gave me a free ticket. hm. Yeah, after hollywood does
the Illiad or the Trojan War in "Troy" this summer, guess it sort of
started a epic making trend! Just like what happened with Troy, the
History Channel on cable also had to have their own Alexander the Great
programme. I watched a bit of it. Sort of reminded me of my terrible(?)
report on Alexander the great in elementary school though! I remember
not liking it and that Alexander was a bit strange as a person. haha.
Well, turns out that like Achilles (of the Illiad), Alexander is also
gay.. . @_@|| Luckily I was reading the "Age of Bronze" graphic novel
aabout the Trojan war or I wouldn't really understand the references of
Achilles in the movie that well! :) :) Ugh, yeah, so if you have
something against gay people, uh, maybe this movie isn't the right one
for you! (and as expected, lots of people laughed at scenes.. such as
hugging and.. what not! =_=|| )
So the movie started at around 8:30PM and ended at around 11:20PM!
It was a long movie indeed. Me thinks that they should follow Bollywood
(indian films) example of giving the audience a break in the movie!
Actually, towards the end, some people got up and left.. But to give an
overall sort of review of the film, I felt genuinely disappointed. I felt
that the movie doesn't do justice to portray Alexander.. such as his
military genius. Basically, there is one major battle: the battle between
him and Persia's king Darius. The other one is in India. The film also
was a bit hard to follow for me.. but maybe that is due to my sleepiness!
I felt sort of sleepy during the battle and some of the scenes.. I guess
that i didn't think that the film flow too well. of course, how can you
fit ~10 years into 3 hours? To tellyou the truth, I found the History
Channel's documentary of Alexander the Great more interesting! @_@||
Describing him with words such as a military genius, over confident,
perhaps close to insanity. But we all know many geniuses are close to
insanity. :) It was a free film.. plus, i think its officially out in
the theatres on Nov. 24th.. So,.. if you are looking for a history
lesson, I don't think this is right for you. Some of the visuals and
costumes are amazing.. but in whole, it is not put together that well..
I think that many people were not so pleased about it either.. since I
watched it by myself, i don't have anyone to discuss the movie with!
So, I'll just check around the professional critics and see if they
agree avec moi! i'm still not so sure why they had so many imagery
of snakes throughout the film though.. .
just another random thing about yesterday.. well, i rode my bike
to school and when I reached Westwood, all of the sudden, my right knee
hurt and lost all the energy to push down!! It was so difficult to
make my somewhat uphill slope to school. I then helped watch my
roommate's FPLC (fast protein liquid chromotography) column a bit..
and then the other guy in the lab, Voytec(its a weird european name..
don't know about the spelling..).. he came up to me and asked me if I
wanted to see a magic trick.. So he proceeded doing the magical cut-the-
rope-and-anneal trick.. I remember learning it before, but can't really
remember exactly how to do it.. except for the loose knot piece.. :)
So he was doing all these eccentric motions while holding the rope so
that it will distract me.. but then he sort of messed up in the last
part where he pulls the string to show it is whole.. the "knot" flew
behind him.. @_@|| hehe.. quite amusing and random..
Anyways, the "Age of Bronze : Sacrifice" has many lovely clothings..
so i was inspired to copy some of them .. :) AND, I downloaded the
programmes "soul seek" and winmx.. so i can get le music !
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